Parted
by Takianna
Summary: This is an Obidala story. If you do not like Obidala please stop reading now. This will be a multi-chapter story, but please be warned updates may have long periods of time in between them. I write for a living and sometimes I can't write one more word.
1. Chapter 1

A kiss, just a small touching of lips brought back all the memories of days spent leisurely laying in bed together. A kiss, stolen between two people desperate to spend those last few seconds in each other's embrace, but pulled apart so quickly.

It was a kiss which fell on his lips too quickly and walked away too easily. It was always too quickly.

How he wished that he was back there now, instead of standing in the middle of the jedi council chambers, receiving yet another set of orders to put out a fire somewhere in the galaxy. Somewhere that he didn't care about and still had to find a way to solve a conflict. Usually fighting

"Master Kenobi," Yoda said and nodded his dismissal to the younger jedi. He always seemed to have an impish grin, even during the most serious of times.

"Yes Master Yoda," Obi-wan said bowing and turning on booted heel to walk towards the door. Dismissed and ready to head out again on another long space journey. He hated flying. It was something he would never get over and being in the midst of continued conflict, he still hated it even more.

They had pulled him from the bed of the one he loved for this, to tell him that he was heading off again and leaving her in the trail of cosmic dust which poured from engines in space. He was not happy.

"What did they say?" Anakin asked anxiously as he fell into step with Obi-wan just outside of the chamber. The marble thudded under their boots as they walked through the cavernous halls of the temple. Obi-wan felt so very alone even among all the people kept within the walls there. That was a new feeling. He had always felt so at home in the temple before her.

"We are heading off to the campaign near Yavin," Obi-wan said, not turning to look at his former padawan as he strode purposefully down the hall.

"I'll take care of all the prep work," Anakin said and the older jedi swore he saw a smile cross the young man's face. That was what was happening to the younger jedi in the temple, they were craving excitement and that wasn't what jedi were supposed to want. They wanted peace. They wanted harmony between all people of the galaxy and the force.

"I'll meet you at the cruiser near departure time," Obi-wan said and handed Anakin the chip that held all of the information about the departure times and required ordinance for the ship.

Wrapping his robe around him, Obi-wan hurried to the nearest turbolift, there was somewhere he needed to be and someone he needed to say goodbye to. You never knew if this was the last time you would be able to utter those words. It was a hard truth for both of them, but they both knew he had a duty to the republic, just as she did.

"Yavin?" Padme asked her eyes brimming with tears that threatened to pour down her cheeks. "That's one of the most disputed areas right now Obi-wan. You can't go."

"I can and I have to," Obi-wan said keeping his emotions as much in check as he could. The sight of her eyes filling with tears was hard for him to see. She sniffled. His heart sank. He was a disappointment that would never end for her. He would always be continued heartbreak. He was making her suffer.

They hadn't been together very long, although Obi-wan and Padme had known each other for many years. Obi-wan had always pushed the emotions he felt down and tried to be the jedi that he was meant to be, that he was supposed to be, but when someone threatened her life and she was almost killed, he let those emotions go. He came to her in the night, confessing all the things he felt in his heart.

They had only been physically intimate twice in the whole time they had been together as a couple, although he wished it was more often. Padme often said that she didn't want to rush things with him and he had to respect what she wanted, although his body ached to be near her. They would have all the time in the galaxy, or so they thought. He just had to keep telling himself that she was the reason he had to come home. It was the only thing that was keeping him going.

As the skirmishes darkened, Obi-wan had been off planet more than he had been on and it was taking a toll on their relationship. Being secretive had already put them both in a place that was difficult, but with the constant separation, he now felt all those things that attachment brought with them. It was all the things that the jedi feared most, but Obi-wan faced them head on.

"I know that you are capable," Padme said wiping the tears from under her eyes with her fingers. "That isn't what I meant."

"I know what you meant. You don't have to say anything at all," Obi-wan said and pulled her close to his chest, holding her tightly, trying to remember every single thing about her from the smell of her soap to the beating of her heart. If he was going to be facing death, this is what he wanted to remember the most out of everything.

"Come back to me," Padme said her voice choked with the thickness of tears. Without a word, Obi-wan bent his head and let his lips press gently against her lips. He savored the kiss. It was the kiss that would bring him home.

"_So you don't even know where you are from?" Padme asked stroking his cheek gently as they nestled on the balcony together, cuddling against the night air._

"_No," Obi-wan said shaking his head. "I don't know that I ever wanted to find out either."_

"_Everyone should want to know where they came from," she smiled at him and moved closer, kissing his cheek._

"_If I don't know," Obi-wan said evenly, "then I won't know what I've missed. When you are a younger jedi, you often wonder who your parents were and where you are from. I stopped wondering a very long time ago."_

He awoke suddenly, shaking his head to try and clear it. Obi-wan's dreams had been filled with memories of the time he had spent with Padme. He missed her, but duty kept him here, fighting.

A loud crack outside the tent he was sleeping in, made him bolt from his cot and call his lightsaber quickly to his hand. It smacked into his palm with a reassuring sound and he walked towards the flap of the tent.

The shelling was coming so much closer now and with the constant dreams about Padme, he was having a very difficult time sleeping anymore.

"Dreams pass in time," he heard from his right and turned to look at Anakin who was standing next to the tent with his lightsaber in hand. The younger jedi's eyes were looking towards the heavens and Obi-wan wasn't even sure he had spoken at all.

Drawing in a long breath, Obi-wan looked towards the sky as well and wondered where she was and what she was doing. He was sure that somewhere she was worrying about him, although he had tried to calm her fears about leaving, he was sure that she still was worried. Setting his jaw against the thought of her crying alone in her bed, he resolved to at least contact her tomorrow. Cody could get him an encrypted line to anywhere and keep his mouth shut about it. That was what was good about the clones, they knew when to mind their own business. In this case, Obi-wan was thankful for the fact that the clone knew what was good for him and wouldn't breath a word about who Obi-wan was calling.

"Looks like sleep isn't for us tonight," Anakin said and pointed towards the sky where several dropships were beginning their approach to the landing area of camp. Obi-wan's eyes followed the younger jedi's finger and picked out the moving craft against the blackness of the starless sky. The smoke from bombing runs and constant shelling had long ago blacked out the tiny speckles of other systems from the sky leaving behind a black, oily landscape for the ships to arrive against.

"Great," Obi-wan said in a low voice and turned back towards his tent where his armor was laying at the end of his cot, waiting for him to shoulder the burden of the Republic again. Maybe those Senators who had spoken out about the Republic were right. Maybe, things were falling apart far too quickly for anyone to put them back together, even the jedi.


	2. Chapter 2

The smoke burned his lungs and made him feel as though he would never get the oxygen he needed, but Obi-wan moved further into the battle. Blaster bolts sizzled past him on the left and the right. One came straight for his head and Obi-wan raised his lightsaber to deflect it into the chest of a droid he hadn't even seen through the smoke. Not a lucky shot, by any means, but a good shot.

"Pull ahead," he heard one of the clones behind talking through the comlink. Then there was the rumbling of AT-TE feet planting themselves and moving. Obi-wan heard the cannon swivel and fire over his head and then the lumbering beast moved again. He was thankful for experienced commanders that helped to guide the equipment and jedi in battle, otherwise this would be a disaster.

"Hold tight," another clone said over the com and the AT-TE stopped, planted it's feet in the dirt and muck, and fired again with a thunderous "ka-chunk."

The movement of the whole line was cumbersome and slow today. Hell, it had been slow everyday for the past two weeks. Inches forward and miles pushed back. If there was a hell, Obi-wan knew they were all in it and would be until something or someone broke.

"Right side, right side," several voices shouted through the com and Obi-wan turned to see a drop ship out of control and smoking uncontrollably. It's belly was grazing the ground and finally the ship came to an abrupt stop, piled in the darkened muck of the ground. The whole nose was buried and he was sure that there were very few, if any, survivors.

"Medics," the voices called and Obi-wan could see a small skiff with several clones heading in that direction. There weren't enough medics for all of those who were killed or injured and many lay on the ground moaning and writhing in pain as their brothers continued to step over them and continued the fight.

This was disgusting.

Two more shots headed towards him and Obi-wan deflected them easily, moving his feet as he continued to trudge forward towards the main front.

"General Kenobi," the com called.

"Kenobi."

"We've broken through approximately three clicks to you at 3 o'clock, requesting back ups," the clone's measured voice said. It was tactical and they always sounded as though they were just at some tea party and not at a war.

"Received."

Three bolts sizzled again overhead and Obi-wan could smell the ozone of their discharge. The whole damn planet was one giant ball of muck and ozone.

"Move to following coordinates," Obi-wan said pushing the coordinates out through the data circuit so that the clones could have the information directly in the HUDs. Amazing the technology that they used every day in battle. Just a few years ago, before the jedi knew of the clone army, he would've never thought men could act be directed by simply giving them coordinates.

In a move of some strange choreography which was only born of war, the headings of all the vehicles and clones, changed and began to move as a single mind, trodding towards their deaths.

"Ahead," a voice called over the static in the com and several airships moved ahead of the advancing column and laid down cover fire. Obi-wan saw large plumes of smoke and dirt rising from where they peppered the ground with their fire.

This was hell.

Obi-wan tried to block out the sounds of the battle and concentrate on his heading. Keep your head down, fight back and try not to get killed, had become the mantra of many of the troops and jedi as they worked through this battle. He just hoped his head was down enough.

* * *

As the number scrolled by on her datapad, Padme tried to catch as many as she could, but there were just so many. Her eyes continued to look for names that she was familiar with and she felt her heart start to race as the list of jedi killed in action began to scroll. There weren't as many jedi as there were clones, but their loss was usually something that shook the effort more. Padme knew it shouldn't be that way, these were all humans, but the public rarely took notice of a clones' death.

Jedi were leaders. Padme just hoped that Obi-wan was doing well and that his name didn't appear on this list of killed or wounded.

"I don't know why you pour over those casualty lists everyday," Padme's assistant said chastising her for the second time that morning. "It just makes you upset."

"These are people," she said quietly continuing to look at the names of jedi, "and they deserve the respect of someone remembering them."

"Those soldiers are just like machines," her assistant said and continued to go through some flimsy that was on her desk, putting it into stacked piles of what had to be completed. "I would be surprised if anyone noticed that they had been killed."

Padme could feel the irritation rising inside of her. "They are _**men**_," she said angrily. "If you don't believe me, then spend some time with them. They deserve our respect. If you don't like it, stop living in the Republic."

"I'm sorry…" the woman said folding her hands in front of her and bowing her head. "I didn't realize…"

"That's right," Padme said rising from her chair. "You didn't even think, just like most people who are living their lives without conflict every single day. 'What is one more clone? We'll make more.' That shouldn't be the way we think about the people who are defending our freedom."

Her assistant just nodded.

"I'm sorry," Padme said rubbing her hand across her forehead. "This war is bringing out the worst in all of us."

"I agree," her assistant said looking up at her again.

* * *

"_Now who is this?" Padme asked smiling at him._

"_Commander Cody," the clone spoke smartly and stepped forward to salute her. _

"_Thank you Commander," Padme said and smiled again. "You don't have to salute me, a handshake would be fine."_

_She reached her hand out and shook his hand. She could feel that he was not used to this kind of treatment, but these men were defending the Republic and deserved to be treated as though they mattered. Padme hated that they were often referred to as "flesh units" among the Senators._

_Obi-wan had been thoughtful enough to give her a chance to meet some of them before they were scheduled for another mission. She was grateful that she at least got to represent the Senate in some way to the men who were fighting. They deserved to know what they were fighting for, even if it wasn't really their cause._

"_I believe that the men would be encouraged if you spoke to them before they left," Obi-wan said and steered her by the elbow towards a small podium which had been set up._

"_There really is nothing to say," Padme said, her cheeks turning red. This wasn't supposed to be about her. She had just wanted to know who was fighting for her and so many other people. _

"_How about 'thank you,'" he whispered near her ear and pushed her gently towards the podium._

* * *

"And how did you get that filthy?" Anakin asked trying to hold a snicker back, but he was being rather unsuccessful. Obi-wan rolled his eyes at the younger jedi, luckily his eyes could still be seen.

"Well, Commander Cody thought that I should really keep my head down and pushed me into a huge puddle of mud," Obi-wan said tightly.

"You should listen to us, General," Cody said next to him. Obi-wan turned to see the clone in his almost pristine armor and huffed.

"I don't think this has anything to do with me listening to you," Obi-wan said stiffly crossing his arms over his chest the best he could. "You just wanted me to get dirty."

Laughter erupted from the clones nearby and Obi-wan tried to turn and look at him, but the muck from the planet was some of the stiffest mud he'd ever been in contact with. This place was killing him.

"Enough," Obi-wan finally said, his voice far too harsh for the circumstances, but he was tired and ready to leave this hellhole. The clones shushed and started to mill around as though they were leaving. It was a nervous habit they had when they were reprimanded. "You boys should get some sleep. I hope we are hopping off this planet tomorrow."

It would take at least that long for Obi-wan to get all the mud off his body, out of hair and from every crevice, even the unmentionable ones.

* * *

Coruscant was a sight for sore eyes. Obi-wan had never been more thankful to be back on the capitol planet and to be one step closer to seeing Padme. As the ship-to-planet transport touched down at the jedi temple landing pad, Obi-wan stepped out onto the landing surface and was thankful to be back in one piece.

Three months had gone by so slowly as he waited for the tide of battle to turn enough that the Republic could say they were winning. Several jedi, including Anakin, had been left behind on a mop up detail. They would finish rounding up the insurgents and then return to Coruscant. Being a master, Obi-wan had been asked to return for a briefing on another mission that would be launched in the near future. Obi-wan would be leading this one himself.

All Obi-wan had to do now was to survive a debriefing before he was free to do as he wished. His wish was simple, but yet so difficult to attain and so very far away.

* * *

"Are you awake?" Padme asked into the darkened room. Obi-wan had come to her apartment late in the evening and he had been exhausted. Padme was rather concerned and quickly rushed him into bed, without even a word about how much she had missed him. Now she wondered if he would ever get enough sleep and what exactly this war was doing to him.

"Hmmmm," Obi-wan said sleepily. He was absolutely the sleepiest he had ever been. Every single thing in and on his body hurt and hurt in a way that he would couldn't explain. "Just tired."

She climbed into the bed with him and snuggled against his body. It felt good for her to be in his arms again. It had been such a very long time and he missed her. His heart had ached so much for her while he was away. His bunk had been a very lonely place.

"That place was awful," he said speaking quietly as he tested just how much she would want to know about where he had been. "I just want to sleep until I'm not tired anymore."

Padme kissed his cheek softly. She was sure she couldn't fathom what he had been through. It was one thing to fight, but the conditions that she was sure they had been forced to reckon with were another thing completely. Obi-wan had seen more death than anyone should have ever seen. Padme knew that for a gentle person like him, it was a difficult thing. She knew that he relished negotiations rather than full on conflict. This must be eating him alive.

"Will there ever be time when you aren't tired?" Padme asked.

"I don't know, maybe when I don't have to fight anymore."

Padme hoped that time was coming very soon, but she was sure the Separatists would not make it easy on the Republic. There was so much hate between the two and reconciliation seemed to be so far away at the moment.

"Boys okay?" she asked referring to his troopers that she had become familiar with as they had served with Obi-wan.

"Cody's pretty banged up, but none the worse than the rest of us," Obi-wan finally said after a pause. "So many didn't make it. I'm sure there were some that I hadn't even met yet who will never come back."

Padme nodded as she listened to him. It was her job to be there for him to say whatever he needed to say. She had always prided herself on being a good listener and hoped that it was coming through to Obi-wan now that she was not judging him.

"That's the war though," he said pulling her closer to him knowing that it was a sentiment that he never wanted actually utter in his life. War should be the last result and it should never be pushed onto the jedi. Jedi were peaceful and spent their time negotiating for a better world, not leading groups of men through the muck to their deaths.

"I don't really want to talk about it anymore," Obi-wan finally said, drained. "How have things been here?"

"I've only fired on assitant since you've been gone," Padme laughed and reached her hand up to feel his cheek. "We had a falling out."

"What about?" Obi-wan asked and raised his chin, so her fingers could scratch through his beard.

"She was calling the boys machines."

"Well she has never met them, has she?"

"No."

"Padme do you ever think that maybe you are here to change everyone's mind about who these clones are?"

Padme stopped moving her fingers and raised up on her elbow to look into his eyes. He was being serious and it scared her that the same thought had come to her earlier in the week as she was interviewing new assistants. Was she supposed to go before the Senate and help make some sort of plan for the clones after the war? She had thought about it many times and there really was no answer for them after they finished fighting.

"Say something," Obi-wan finally said rising and kissing her gently on the cheek.

"I had the same thought," Padme said quietly looking down.

"Must be the will of the force."

Padme nodded her head yes very slowly as though it was the scariest thing she had ever contemplated in her life.


	3. Chapter 3

_… and that is why we must prepare ourselves for the end of this war. There are questions that have yet to be answered about humans that we created, men that we asked to die for our freedom._

_What will we give them in return?_

_Will there be no reward for the hard work that they continue to do for us?_

_I believe that we owe them a debt, a debt which can be paid by making sure they are taken care of after the war ends. They should never suffer worries or doubt about what will become of them. They should be our brothers as well._

_Thank you…._

* * *

Obi-wan snapped off the holoscreen and leaned back into his chair. She had made several points that were bound to get people in the Senate talking. He rubbed a hand over his face wondering what this would mean for her standing as a respected member of the Senate. Had Obi-wan made a mistake by encouraging her to speak up?

"She sure has some opinions," Commander Cody said from behind Obi-wan. Damn that clone was always sneaking up on him even though he had a very distinct force signature that Obi-wan usually picked out quite easily. Jedi shouldn't be that easy to sneak up on. The Commander would need a talking to, Obi-wan thought, although he knew Cody got a kick out of scaring him.

"Yes Commander," Obi-wan said turning back to look at the black holoscreen.

"I wonder where she gets those," Cody said and Obi-wan thought that he could hear a smirk somewhere in those words.

"Maybe she was impressed by you the last time she met you," he said not turning around to look at the clone. "It is impressive to see so many of you that look alike."

There was a pause as he was sure that Cody was cringing at the reminder that the clones were identical. Obi-wan had found that the clones didn't like to be reminded of this point, but he used it often to jab at the Commander.

"Perhaps a certain General has been influencing her," Cody said.

"Perhaps."

* * *

Padme brushed through her tangled hair as she sat at her vanity. She was angry and the more angry she became the more aggressive she became in attacking the tangles. The senate was infuriating.

"You're going to be bald soon," the voice made her jump.

"Really Kenobi?" Padme said sighing as she clanked the brush down on the vanity. "You couldn't announce yourself? You have to be stealthy jedi?"

His chuckle sent a warmth through her body and she was finding it difficult to continue to be angry, but she was and she wanted to be. This was idealogy. The Senate just refused to see what she was saying to them and they were now acting like a bunch of toddlers who were pitching temper tantrums.

"Kenobi?" Obi-wan asked and moved to sit behind her on the bench. She knew that he could feel the irritation radiating from her, but he said nothing. Padme picked up the brush and started working at the tangles in her hair again. Damn those elaborate hairdos that she was always having to wear. She would just shave all of it off and that would show them.

"They think I'm an idiot," Padme finally said as she tackled another set of tangles near her left ear. "What was I thinking?"

"You were thinking that these are men."

Padme slammed the brush down on the vanity with a loud crack and turned to look at him. Those eyes, blue and gentle, were as calm as they ever were. How could he be so calm? She found it very annoying and endearing at the same time.

"They are removing me from three committees," Padme said angrily. "I will no longer have a vote when it comes to military spending. Other senators think I've lost my mind. Bail Organa actually stopped me afterwards and asked if I was 'okay.'"

"Do you care what these people think?" he asked her and put his hand on her leg. "Is that what you care about? Because the Padme I know cares about so many more important things than what the Senate thinks of her. That's probably the reason I adore her so much."

"I care about peace," Padme finally said and looked down at his hand moving hers to cover his.. "I care about men who didn't ask to be 'born' and used by others who didn't want to fight. I just want the galaxy to be right. It's just it's harder and harder to make things 'right.'"

"It's people like you who will make the galaxy right," Obi-wan whispered as he leaned near her ear.

"If I don't shoot myself in the leg first."

* * *

"What?" was all he could manage to make come out of his mouth as he stood in front of Masters Windu and Yoda.

"She has been threatened," Master Windu stated again. "Yoda and I think that it's in our best interest to place her under jedi protection. We knew that she would refuse certain members of the council, but you have always been close to her since the Battle of Naboo."

"She has her own bodyguards," Obi-wan said, his mouth drying at the thought of being 'assigned' to watch over Padme.

"Talented, they are, but jedi, they are not," Yoda said from his round little seat. If Obi-wan hadn't been so shocked by their request, he would've thought that the little green troll's eyes were dancing with delight. Obi-wan was rather notorious for hating politicians and putting him together with one would be a hoot for them, he was sure.

Little did they know.

"Senator Amidala is capable of taking care of herself," he spoke up again. Protesting was the only way to make this believable. "You would know that if you'd read my report on Naboo."

"Your report, we have read," Yoda said brushing aside anything else that Obi-wan might have to say about the matter. "The decision, we have made."

"She will be expecting a jedi to report to her in the next standard hour," Master Windu said. That was as much dismissal as Obi-wan would receive. Quickly he bowed and headed towards the door.

"Do as you see fit, Obi-wan," Master Yoda said as Obi-wan approached the door. "In your care, we place her."

* * *

Padme lounged in the sunlight out on her balcony, her arms laying down past the edge of the chair and resting against the polished stone of the balcony surface. She had her hair down, laying tussled around her shoulders. This was her one moment of joy in the past several days. Things had turned from bad to worse after her speech to the Senate.

First there was the fact that she had been removed from three committees and then the death threats. She wasn't sure, but if she was a betting person, she would say that the Kaminoans had something to do with the threats. They were to be the biggest losers if she suggested that they stop the manufacture of clones and plan for the men who were left following the war. That was money out of their pockets.

Laying here, those worries were pushed from her mind and her skin was warmed by the sun from the orbital mirrors. Here she could pretend that she was back on Naboo, if she could block the sound of air traffic from her ears.

Unfortunately when she had reported the death threats to the proper authorities, they had seen fit to go before the jedi council. The last thing she had wanted to do was get the jedi involved in her problems. She feared that someone would be able to easily draw lines and connect her to Obi-wan in some way. Padme didn't want to jeopardize his career and place as a jedi. It would be far too heartbreaking if she took him down with her in this spiral.

Padme heard the door chime, but didn't move, she was far too comfortable. Lazily, she rolled over on the lounge chair, closing her eyes and letting the cushion press against the side of her face, her hair spilling over the edge of the chair, shielding her from whatever the world wanted now.

_Leave me alone_, she thought to herself as she heard voices in the entryway.

"Master Kenobi to see you," Dorme said as she approached Padme.

That shook Padme because usually he kept away until all of her assistants had retired for the evening. Propping herself up on her elbows, she regarded him as he entered. He looked very dignified, as always, but without that little hint of familiarity that he usually had with her. This was business, she was sure of that just from his demeanor.

"Senator Amidala," he said and bowed to her courteously. "I hear that you are having some trouble with people threatening you."

Padme nodded. Damn, he was good at this, she would have to get good as well.

"Yes, Master Jedi," she said formally and pushed the hair from her eyes, tucking it behind her ear. "It's nothing that my guard cannot handle."

"Agreed," Obi-wan said to her, "but the council has requested that I spend some time here so as to deter anyone who believes they can assassinate you."

_What?_ Padme tried to keep her eyes from going wide, but it was as difficult as she could've imagined. This was going to be impossible.

"I assure you Master Kenobi, that I will be fine," Padme said pushing herself up to a sitting position. "I believe you should tell Master Yoda that he worries far too much for my safety and that I thank him for thinking of my well being, but I cannot have someone who is so vital to the welfare of the Republic playing babysitter to me."

"I have tried to reason with Master Yoda as well, but to no avail. He believes that the best use of my time is here with you," Obi-wan said looking at her calmly and cooly. His eyes were the most expressive thing on him at the moment and they weren't saying much at all.

"Well, if you must stay," Padme finally said, too tired to fight with the council, "I suggest you make yourself comfortable in our guest quarters."

Padme laid back down and let her hair fall about her. It wasn't until then that she let a smile creep to her lips. They had actually made him stay with her instead of the two of them having to sneak around in the depths of the night.

"I wish to consult with your security staff and then I will make myself more comfortable," he said and she listened, just enjoying the sound of his voice.

"Do as you see fit," Padme said, hating the fact that she was 'dismissing' him from her presence when all she wanted to do was wrap herself in his arms where she felt safe.

"Thank you Senator," he said and she watched as his booted feet turned and walked away.

* * *

"Don't you think you should've told me?" Obi-wan asked her again, his voice far more panicked than he hoped it would come out. Her being threatened was something he never thought about when he had told her to speak out about the clones.

"I told the authorities," Padme said trying not to sound upset with him, but he could feel that she was pretty upset.

"One comm and you could've told me too."

"What would you have done?"

"I … I would've done something."

"You would have given away the fact that there is so much more between us than a relationship based on the fact that you saved my home world. Are you willing to give up your status as a jedi for me?"

Obi-wan took her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. Did she not realize that he would give up everything for her. Now it didn't matter if he was a jedi. It mattered if he was with her.

"I would give everything I had to be with you. It doesn't matter if I'm a jedi or a farmer, as long as I have you."

Carefully he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it gently letting the scent of her skin fill his nostrils.

"You are talking nonsense," Padme said and pulled her hand away from him. "The Republic needs you, it always has, and I would be doing a disservice to the Republic if I asked you to stop taking care of it.

"Obi-wan, I love you, but there are things that are far more important than what we are doing here. We both have a duty to protect the one thing that can keep the galaxy in peace. The Republic needs us to be strong for it and saying that you would give it all up for me doesn't make me feel any better."

What had he done wrong to deserve this talking to? Obi-wan had always defended what was right and good. She knew that and he had done things which he had never thought he was capable of doing to serve the Republic, but she had to know that it was not the only thing that ruled his life.

"My allegiance lies with the force," Obi-wan finally said after a strained silence. "What it asks me to do, I do it. It has asked me to be with you and I know that the plan it has for us is something that I can't fathom.

"You have to have faith that I may not know the answers in the end, but I know the will of the force. There is nothing more important to me than you and that is because the force has willed our union. It would not have been this easy, if it didn't."

Padme sighed and looked at him. Her browns eyes studied his face intently and he almost felt as though he should turn away and break the stare, but he held her gaze.

"Someday you will have to show me how to be so relaxed with life changing decisions," Padme finally sighed and grasped his hand.

"One secret at a time, Milady," Obi-wan laughed.


	4. Chapter 4

Obi-wan walked a respective distance behind Padme as they entered the Senate building for the morning session. Padme was dressed in an elaborate gown and surrounded by three of her aides. It was just his job to make sure that she was safe while she was here. There had been no leads into who had threatened her and no new threats had been received in the past day, but Obi-wan had been told by the council to stay with her. They believed that there would be an attempt on her life at the first morning session.

He stretched out with his feelings, but the Senate building was not someplace where the feelings were all joyful and evil intent was easy to find. These people were all backstabbing with some sort of evil intent. It would be very difficult to pick out who was the most likely of all the people surrounding them.

Padme was stopped several times on her way to the Senate chamber by various beings. They were asking about her health and talking to her about various duties. Obi-wan blocked all these things out to make sure that he could read malicious actions. That was what he was there for in the first place.

His heart hurt though. Thinking that he was the only thing between her and death, was a difficult thing. If he were to be mistaken, she could be dead and he would be alone. The pain of losing her would be terrible. He had felt that kind of pain before and he didn't want to feel it again. That was a feeling which he hoped he would only know when he was old and people he loved had a lived fruitful lives.

"Master Kenobi," Bail Organa said breaking Obi-wan from his thoughts.

"Senator Organa," Obi-wan returned.

"I trust that you are well?" Senator Organa asked.

"Yes," Obi-wan said making very little conversation as he continued to listen to the people around them through the force. He felt no uncommon threat, but that could change in an instant.

"It's good to see Senator Amidala is in good hands," Senator Organa said. "She has seemed very distracted recently."

"War is very distracting," Obi-wan said and looked around at all the people milling around.

"I suppose it is," Senator Organa said thoughtfully. "Will I see you inside?"

"Oh politics are far too dangerous for even an armed jedi," Obi-wan laughed.

Senator Organa laughed and shook Obi-wan's hand, then turned and headed towards the appropriate entrance for his senate pod. Obi-wan watched as Padme finished signing several documents that her aides were pushing towards her and then turned her brown eyes to meet his eyes.

In that one flash, she told him that she would be okay and that she loved him. A small smile crept to his lips as he looked at her, but he buried it quickly to not be discovered by anyone who might be looking on.

* * *

Obi-wan laid leisurely in her bed, the darkness closing in around them both as the night on Coruscant took hold. Padme's day in the senate had been rather uneventful and she looked over at him, dozing away, as she continued to work on the final few items on her agenda of things to be done.

The room was filled with the sounds of his breathing coming rhythmically as he continued to slumber. She was thankful that he was there, keeping watch over her in the middle of the night, but she feared that they would be found out by one of the several assistants which roamed in and out of the apartments on a daily basis.

Padme tried to keep her features from showing her true feelings, but that was difficult. When you loved someone, the way she loved him, how could you keep it such a secret?

Today had been difficult, surrounded by all the people from the senate and Obi-wan following so closely behind. This was a test of how far could she really take how she felt about him, without going too far. Luckily, no one had noticed the glances and smiles, but that was just the luck of the day. She had to be more careful and add her stoney looks into what she wore outside of the house everyday.

There was no guarantee in their lives, but she would do everything she could to guarantee that Obi-wan's future did not come crashing down around him. He was far more important than she would ever be.

Yawning, Padme turned off the pad she had been working on and flung it onto the ottoman. Rubbing her eyes, she walked towards the bed where Obi-wan was sleeping restfully and climbed in next to him. He stirred, but did not wake as Padme snuggled close to him. She would have to wake him soon and remind him to go back to the guest room. They couldn't risk him being found in her bedroom in the morning when the assistants began arriving.

For now though, she was content to lay next to him, for whatever time they had was always fleeting.

* * *

He wasn't sure what woke him first, the sound of something falling to the floor, or the sound of ticking, but in a split second, Obi-wan had jumped from his bed in the guest room and hurried into Padme's room. The cloud of smoke which meet him, was not a good sign.

It was a common gas, used to stun and render the person near it unable to breathe. Obi-wan's eyes started to water right away as he made his way towards the bed, where he had left Padme to get some sleep not more than two hours before.

Jumping onto the bed, he found that she was not there. He rummaged through the bedcovers trying to find a clue as to where she was, but found nothing. Then he heard loud banging from the dressing room and quickly made his way towards the room where Padme's gowns were all kept in large closets. Following the banging, he finally found the door and tried to open it.

Damn they had codes on them.

Quickly he pulled his lightsaber from his belt and plunged it straight through the locking mechanism. Pushing the door aside with the force, Obi-wan pulled a small female form from the closet and was relieved immediately that Padme was not hurt. He escorted her back to the main living area and sealed the doors to the bedroom behind them.

Turning back to Padme, Obi-wan's heart sank as he realized that it was merely one of her decoys, Dorme, who was standing in front of him.

"Where is she?" Obi-wan asked Dorme. Dorme coughed and sputtered, but pointed towards the window and outside into the breaking dawn of the morning.

"How many?" Obi-wan asked again and Dorme could only hold up two fingers to indicate the number of attackers. Captain Typho joined them and Obi-wan pushed Dorme into his arms.

"Take care of her," he said as he quickly ran out the door and towards whatever he would find in the early morning on Coruscant.

* * *

_"Do you fear death?" Padme asked looking into his eyes as they laid on the small couch together, candles lit in every corner of the apartment._

_"Never," Obi-wan said easily. "I know that where I go, I will be one with the force and that is a very appealing thing."_

_She sighed, the sigh of someone who had a lot of things on their mind. _

_"Do you?" he asked her._

_"I used to," she said plainly. "Then there was a time when I asked why I wasn't the one who died when my people were dying around me. I don't fear it now. I know that I will meet those people again and that death comes to all of us, in the end."_


	5. Chapter 5

Obi-wan was not afraid of death, but he did fear what would happen to Padme at the hands of whomever had abducted her from her apartment. He should've known better than to think with all of the technology and guards she had, that no one would be able to reach her.

He was a fool. The galaxy was laughing a jedi who could not make sure that one small Senator was kept completely safe. He knew now that it was laughing at far more than his inability to keep her safe, it was laughing at the relationship he thought he could have with her.

This was his punishment. This was his hell.

"No ransom demands," Captain Typho said waking Obi-wan from his thoughts.

"I doubt there will be," he said thoughtfully rubbing his chin. "Have the troopers arrived?"

"Commander Cody is making planet fall now," Typho replied.

"Thank you Captain," Obi-wan said wanting to retreat to his own thoughts again. He had made mistakes and getting too close to Padme was one of the major ones.

Did he regret loving her? No because that would imply what he felt for her was not special. It was the most important thing to him, but getting close to her had caused her to speak her mind about the clones. People didn't like when you messed with their money and he was sure the Kaminoans were somehow involved in her kidnapping.

That would be where he would have to start. Unfortunately, Obi-wan knew what the Kaminoans were able to produce and he might not be able to create their very own kidnappers who shared genetic material with the clones themselves.

That was why he needed Cody's help. He needed Cody to think like Jango Fett. He needed Cody to help him find her, no matter what the cost.

* * *

She was tied, hand behind her back and her mouth gagged. The chair was hard and the room was filthy. Padme was scared. What had happened? She couldn't piece together everything that had happened when she had been attacked, but now she found herself in a small room, tied to a chair. This was bad.

Speaking out against the continued creation of the clones and their fate after the war had finally come back to haunt her. Why couldn't she keep her mouth shut? She hated that injustice was all around them and thought that her voice could make a difference. All it had done was land her ass in a jam which she had no idea how to get out of.

Working her wrists back and forth, she tried to find some weakness in the hard ties which bound her hands, but they wouldn't give. All the training she had been given as Queen of Naboo came back to her as she started to peer around the dimly lit room searching for anything that was sharp and could cut through the binding. There was nothing.

Her ankles were not tied, she could stand if she had to and use the chair as a weapon against whomever had her. Taking quick stock of anything else in the room, she stood and tried to swing the chair far enough to hit someone. It was rather difficult and it wrenched her arms, but in a pinch, it would do.

She had no shoes and was only wearing the small nightgown that she had put on when she had gone to bed for the evening. If she had to and the captor was a man, she would be able to knee in the groin. That was if they weren't wearing some sort of protective armor.

With her heart almost in her throat, she wondered what Obi-wan was doing as he attempted to find her. She knew that he would be sick with himself for not being able to protect her from whomever these people were. That was something that she didn't want him to feel. Knowing Obi-wan he was no regretting the fact that he had convinced her to speak out about the clones and he was doubting whether or not he had caused this whole thing.

She would have to make a point to remind him that she was a big girl the next time she saw him, which hopefully would be very soon.

* * *

"What do you mean think like Jango Fett?" Cody asked looking at Obi-wan with the strangest look. Obi-wan was asking some of the most impossible questions he could ask, but he needed Commander Cody to help him.

"Please," Obi-wan said rubbing his temples in frustration. "Where would you take her?"

"This is Coruscant, General," the Commander sighed. "Lower levels. It would have to be some place that was rather easy to defend with just one or two people."

Kriff...this was going no where and time was running out. Obi-wan wanted to shout. He wanted to throw something, but that was not the jedi way. He had to calm himself. In the calmness, hopefully there would be some sort of answer to what was happening.

"General Skywalker," Commander Cody acknowledge Anakin as he entered the room.

"Where is she?" Anakin asked looking from one man to another. He was expectant as though he had some sort of stake in this whole thing. Obi-wan knew that Anakin still possessed feelings for Padme that he never spoke of outloud. There was always that underlying current of tension when her name was mention and it was worse than ever now.

"We don't know," Obi-wan said trying to soothe some of the tension which radiated from Anakin. "Commander Cody is explaining the type of area where she might be found."

Well Obi-wan had just thrown Cody to the wolves as Anakin turned his attention to the clone. Those eyes would make a lesser man cringe, but Commander Cody was a battle hardened veteran and nothing usually scared him.

"As I was saying she would be somewhere that is easy for just a couple of men to protect," Cody said as if it were just another briefing about another battle that mattered very little on the personal level. Obi-wan admired his coolness in a moment like this one because Obi-wan felt as though he was falling apart on the inside.

"We'll have to use the force," Anakin said matter of factly and looked at Obi-wan.

"Don't you think I've thought of that?" Obi-wan asked putting his hands on his hips. Yes, you could use the force to read intentions, but those were merely moments before something happened and you had to be in pretty close range. Yes, you could get a read on a large event, but it was impossible to pinpoint where someone was being held against their will.

"It's the only option we have while we send some troopers out to ask questions in the lower levels," Anakin said.

"We are ready to send at least two smaller groups the lower levels now General," Commander Cody said.

"Send them," Obi-wan said crossing his arms over his chest and looking out towards the vastness of Coruscant. He just hoped that they would be able to find her before she disappeared forever from his life and his heart broke into a million pieces that were never able to be glued together again.

* * *

The door clicked open, Padme sat in the chair appearing as though she were asleep. She didn't really have any idea how long she had been there, but it seemed to be an eternity. Booted feet approached her, but stood just far enough away that the person who owned them was not close enough for her to touch with her legs. They were smart.

"She's asleep," the voice said. It was a voice that she was very familiar with from her time with Obi-wan. Clones. Her heart leapt into her throat and threatened to choke her death. There was no way that she would be able to overpower two full grown clones. If these clones were from Kaminoan, they would be trained in all the tactics that the GAR clones were trained in and that meant that she would never be able to escape.

Padme knew that she had to try because there were things that were far more important than just her life. There were lives of thousands of men who had sacrificed themselves to serve a government which was becoming more and more corrupt. She couldn't stand by and watch that kind of thing happen and not do anything. Padme knew that she would have the element of surprise and she planned to use it to her advantage.

* * *

"_If someone is coming after you, what do you do?" Captain Panaka asked looking at her. She knew what he was thinking that she was so small and how she supposed to defend herself should she be taken hostage. Padme had heard it a million times from other members of her court._

_Inside, she knew that she was not helpless and that she would be able to defend herself if the need arose. That was why the people of Naboo trusted her so much. She knew how to take care of things and if she had to she would take down a full grown man as easily as a child._

"_I gouge the eyes first, if my hands are free, and then kick to the groin if it's a male," Padme said going through the motions on Panaka. "If it's a female and my hands are tied, a stomp on the foot as hard as possible and knee to the head."_

"_Good," Panaka said placating her. "Do you think you could actually do it?"_

"_If my life depended on it, yes."_

* * *

In one swift move, Padme was on her feet. There were two men, one in the doorway, one in front of her, both clones. They were taken by surprise as she swung the metal chair around and bashed the first man in the side. He fell to her left, not completely knocked out, but the wind was knocked out of him. Using that to her advantage, she moved to the clone in the door. As she approached she turned around and shoved the chair through the door, pinning him to the wall.

The first clone rose from the ground and pulled a blaster, as he began to shoot toward her, she moved to the side, letting the blaster bolt sizzle into the second clone's chest. He slumped and fell to the floor, a smouldering heap.

The other attacker was not daunted by the fact that he had killed the other, he continued towards Padme. He shot once and it bounced off the chair, the second shot caught her in the arm and she cried out. It was better to die in the fight rather than wait like a helpless damsel who needed rescuing.

The clone advanced on her, but didn't take another shot as he came toward her. She waited and when he was close enough, she brought her knee up and planted it right in his groin. The man groaned and fell to his knees. Quickly she turned around and with a huge upward effort, she knocked him in the chin. He fell to the floor, out cold.

Padme had gotten out of the room, but she was still tied to a chair. Looking at the bodies of the men, she found what looked like a sharp key type of instrument. Bending down awkwardly, she retrieved it and started working it between the strap and her wrist. It freed her quickly, but blood dripped from her hand. It didn't matter now. Getting away was the most important thing she had to do now. She sawed at the other restraint, the man on the floor began to stir, but not quickly.

Once she was free she bolted from the hallway and into a stairwell at the far end. She stopped momentarily to wrap a piece of her nightgown around her bleeding hand. If the clone was as smart as the others, he would follow the blood droplets to find her.

Now she had to find a way to signal for help.


	6. Chapter 6

The sound of booted feet chased her as she continued to make her way through the maze of stair wells and landings in the building where she had been held captive. Padme's hand ached and the strip of cloth she had tied around it was become saturated with her blood. She didn't dare look at how much was there because she knew that it would make her dizzy. That was something that she couldn't afford now.

Rounding another corner at the far end of the hall, she came to a dead end. Panic lept into her heart as she raced from door to door to find anything that was unlocked. There was nothing. The derelict building seemed to be locked tight. There was no where to go and the booted feet seemed to be echoing closer to her, mimicking the sound of her racing heart as they approached.

At the end of the hall was a handle, Padme gripped it with both hands and pulled as hard as she could. The door creaked open revealing a chute barely visible in the darkened corridor. Padme lifted herself and lowered herself into the chute, bracing her feet to keep her from sliding down further than necessary. The chute was covered with dirt and slime, but as she closed the door, she knew that if she wanted to survive, she had to do whatever it took.

"She has to be in here," a male clone's voice said as the feet came closer.

"How do you know?" another male's voice chimed in and this voice was familiar to Padme, but she couldn't place where she had heard it. Familiar, but unable to truly place who it belonged to because she was too panicked to think straight.

"I tracked the blood and then calculated her trajectory," the clone voice said again, very precisely.

"I don't see her," the other voice said. "Let me check."

There was an eerie silence and Padme tried to slow her breathing so that it couldn't be heard. She tried not to slip further into the chute, but tried to stay in the dark recesses where she wouldn't be seen.

The door began to creak open and Padme panicked, trying to hide herself in shadows, but there was no more that she could do unless she let go and fell completely through the chute. That might be a problem because she knew somewhere down there was a door that was locked tight and masher that would kill her.

"She's over here," was the only thing Padme heard as hands reached down to pull her from the chute. She thrashed and kicked, not wanting to go back to her death. She was sure she would be punished for what she had done to captor.

"Padme stop. STOP!" the voice said as her feet hit the cold duracrete of the hallway. "It's Anakin."

Padme stopped, her breathing coming ragged and heavy. Her eyes adjusted to the hallways almost bright light, compared to the chute. There, standing as tall as ever with a smile on his face, was Anakin. She threw herself into his arms and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.

"Commander inform Master Kenobi we've been successful," Anakin said as he easily lifted her from the ground, cradling her gently in his arms. Padme nestled closer into his body as she began to sway with his movements. He made lifting her seem effortless.

* * *

"_You'll be fine," her father said as he carried her back towards the house. The tears kept flowing down her cheeks as she grasped his neck._

_She had been busily playing on the railing down by the gardens and fallen. The fall had broken her leg, but her father had heard her cries. He had come to rescue her from where she lay. _

"_Shhh," he said soothingly trying to make sure her leg was comfortable as he carried her to the house. They would have to call a healer to come and set the leg. _

"_I'm sorry," Padme cried softly into his shoulder. "I shouldn't have been playing on the railing and showing off."_

"_Well this is an important lesson, Padme," her father said in those gentle tones. "There are reasons we tell you to stay away from things. We are only trying to keep you from getting hurt."_

* * *

Obi-wan's heart leapt into his throat as he saw Padme being carried by Anakin from the lower levels of one of the desolate buildings. It hammered away at his chest and he could feel the beating in his ears. Gods how he loved her, but he couldn't show that now. He couldn't let on that he was so worried about her because of their love. He had to be tough and she would understand because Padme knew about duty and she knew about keeping up appearances. they had done it for so long.

Jogging towards the rescuers, Obi-wan stopped short and waited for them to meet him.

"She was in the garbage chute," Anakin said matter of factly. "It looks like she might have a couple of scrapes and bruises, but nothing that can't be taken care of at a medical facility. I'll take her there now."

"I'll do it," Obi-wan said stopping Anakin before he could walk past him.

"That's alright Master," Anakin said with a brief menacing smile as though he was claiming Padme as his prize. "I've got this one."

Obi-wan wanted to tell him to stop so he could at least see her for minute, but it was too late and he would be giving far too much away if he demanded to take her. He would just have to follow her and spend some time alone with her in the medical facility. There he would be sure there would be no prying eyes or ears.

"Live to fight another day," Commander Cody said from behind Obi-wan. That clone was very perceptive.

* * *

"I'm fine," Padme said to Obi-wan noting the grim look on his face. There had been a very serious look on his face from the moment he entered her room in the medical facility. It really wasn't making her feel very good about the situation, but she was sure he had been worried.

"I know you think you are," Obi-wan said not moving from the doorway where he was leaning with one shoulder against the frame, his arms crossed over his chest defensively. Padme noted how handsome he looked despite the dire look on his face. "But there will come a time when you aren't and I will be too late."

Padme tried to smile, but she knew he was right. She was known to be strong when she had to be, but a time would come when she would completely fall apart. It happened all those years ago when her planet was invaded. She thought back to sitting in the corner of her closet crying because things had gotten so out of hand. It was the only place she could truly be alone and it was where she left all of her hurt and pain over what was happening to her people. She didn't know where she would leave the pain now.

"I have you," she said in a whisper. "You can be strong for me."

"It's evident I'm not the best protector," Obi-wan said shrugging, the frown on his face deepening. He was terribly upset with himself, she had known he would be from the moment she was taken from the apartment. Obi-wan would always beat himself to death about a situation he could never control. This was one of those situations.

"This was not your fault."

"Who was supposed to be making sure you were protected? Me. This is my fault and I take all the blame. I've become very lax in my jedi practice. Being around you makes me forget I am a jedi, but I can't let that endanger your life ever again."

Her mouth opened in shock and she thought she should say something. She had almost been killed and now he was ending their relationship? He had the worst timing ever and he didn't even know he was being so hurtful. Obi-wan often didn't think in terms of other people's emotions.

"Get out," Padme said quietly and looked at her hands folded in her lap. She heard the door open and then close, leaving her with a deafening silence, not only in the room, but in her heart.


	7. Chapter 7

Obi-wan slipped silently down onto the balcony of Padme's residence. She had turned her bedroom light out earlier and he thought he was safe showing up now when all the security detail had retired for the night. Although he was sure, she didn't want to really see him.

Their last meeting hadn't gone as he had planned. Nothing ever went the way he planned. All Obi-wan managed to do was make a bigger mess.

Silently he walked down the darkened hall. The apartment was silent and the silence rang in his ears. Was this a mistake? Maybe he should have contacted her before showing up, but there was an urgency to his visit. There really hadn't been enough time to give her warning about his intentions.

Obi-wan was leaving Coruscant and didn't know when he would be back.

Using the force, he pushed her door open and found himself face-to-face with a blaster. His arms shot into the air in surrender.

"Damn Kenobi," Padme hissed and flicked on a light near her bed. "You could have been killed."

Obi-wan shrugged as she lowered the blaster and placed it back on the nightstand. She was giving him that look that told him he wasn't welcome here, especially this time of night and in her private bedroom. There was a time when he would've been welcome, but that time might have slipped through his fingers forever.

"I'm sorry," was all he could say. He meant he was sorry for everything, including the way he acted the last time they saw each other. Obi-wan was a fool, but she knew he was.

"What are you doing here?" she asked crossing her arms over her chest in defiance.

"I had to see you," he admitted in a very un-jedi like turn.

"You have had months to see me. I don't remember you making a point to stop by before now."

"I'm leaving Padme."

The silence in the room closed in around Obi-wan. He wanted her to say something, anything, but she sat in silence. It was not a good sign. Padme didn't care where he was going or if he ever came back.

"Where?"

Her voice was thick with sadness, but Obi-wan didn't move to comfort her. It wasn't his place. She had dismissed him from her life and he had kept his distance. Now he wished he wouldn't have stayed away. He wished he would've made it up to her a long time before getting his orders. War did things to people though and now he had regrets he would have to take with him.

"I can't tell you," he finally said after a silence.

She huffed and pulled her arms tighter around her body. Obi-wan took that as a sign of how much she hated him.

"I'm sorry I came," he said and turned to leave.

"Don't go."

The words were soft and full of sadness. Turning back around, Obi-wan saw the tears glistening in her eyes and spilling onto her cheeks. Standing before him, she was vulnerable like he had seen her before. Her heart was torn, Obi-wan could tell, between what she felt for him and sticking to her guns about the way he had acted.

"Why?" she asked simply.

"Because I'm stupid."

"Yes you are because I would give anything for you, whether it's my duty or my life. I hoped you felt the same way."

"I do."

"Then why do you insist on pushing me away when things get a little difficult? I thought you were a jedi, not afraid of anything."

Obi-wan sighed and rubbed his hand across his chin. There were no words to explain what was going on his mind. He couldn't figure it out himself when it came to dealing with her. How would he explain it?

"I'm afraid of what this means for us. I can't always be here and I can't always protect you. I've realized this over the past few months. I have to trust you to do what is right and that scares me. Losing control is hard for me, you know that."

Padme nodded her understanding, but he still didn't feel better about how he acted in the medical complex after her rescue.

"You have to trust me Obi-wan," she finally said sitting on the edge of her bed. "I was taking care of myself long before you came along. You can't have the weight of the galaxy and the weight of my protection on your shoulders at one time. It makes you do things that could get you killed."

He sighed. She was right, she was always right when it came to matters of the heart. In that arena, she had more experience and Obi-wan had to concede to her.

"We knew this would never be easy," she continued. "You said it didn't bother you because you were willing to give it all away for me. Has that changed?" 

"No."

"Then prove it to me. Where are you going Obi-wan?"

He stopped and sucked in a quick breath. He wanted to warn her about the pain she was going to feel in the next few days, but he had been sworn to secrecy. It was something he couldn't break because if one person knew, they might tell others and the chain would go on until his life was really in jeopardy.

"You know that isn't fair to ask me," he finally said looking at her. The look on her face made him want to tell her, but he knew the consequences.

She huffed again, but it was softer this time. Obi-wan knew she wouldn't press for sensitive information and he was thankful for the respite. So much had happened over the last few days and he didn't really feel like talking about it anymore.

Knowing he was going to die didn't get any easier with the passing of time. It only brought the inevitable panic to the surface, which he continued to tamp down with all his might. To know you were dying was not something he wished on his worst enemies. The anticipation was enough to kill him now.

But he also knew if things went right, there would be resurrection. That was what he needed to focus on now.

"I forgive you," she said rising from the bed. "But you have to promise to try harder."

"I promise," he said reaching for her as she neared him and wrapping her in his arms.

"Come to bed," she said pulling away from him and taking his hand, urging him towards the large bed.

"I thought you would never ask," he smiled.


	8. Chapter 8

Padme tried to keep herself composed as she stood next to the Duchess Satine of Mandalore, her arm reaching to comfort the other woman as she cried. The funeral, or what jedi passed off for a funeral, was numbing and Padme could no longer feel anything as she watched the man she loved being turned to ash.

Obi-wan was dead, a fact she didn't want to face.

It wasn't until she was alone, locked inside of her room, that she let the waves of anguish swallow her. It was all she could do to stay on her feet until she could find a chair, through eyes blurred by tears. The pain radiated in her stomach and she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to stop the sobbing, but there was nothing that would stop the pain she felt. Only his return would stop the anguish she felt inside.

She rushed to the refresher, just getting to the toilet before her whole body heaved and everything from her stomach spilled into the bowl. The sobbing wouldn't stop, racking her body. Her fingers found the disposal switch and then she laid down on the cool tile of the floor, letting the pain take her.

The tide of the pain ebbed and flowed. First she was very upset and then calmed before running headlong into another bout of sobs. It was an endless cycle she feared would claim her forever.

There would never be another knock at her door or a smiling face on her balcony in the middle of the night. Those things ended. They were destroyed, along with the man she loved. Her face would no longer feel his fingers against her cheek or his lips against hers. He would never make love to her again.

All she had now was the memory of him and their short time together.

How would she ever go on?

* * *

"Padme," a voice said from her bedroom. Dorme was searching for her, but she didn't move from the cool tile floor of the bathroom. Here she could close herself away from the stark reality of Obi-wan's death. She could have her own reality.

"You have company," the handmaiden said as she knelt on the floor next to Padme and brushed the wet hair from her cheeks. Her delicate fingers caressed the side of Padme's face, but she didn't move. She could only stare at the wall where one small piece of paint was chipped away from the wall. As long as she looked at it, she could hold herself together.

"It's Anakin," Dorme finally said after a short silence.

Padme knew one thing, if there was a connection to Obi-wan, it was Anakin. Through him, maybe Padme could hold on to the little pieces of Obi-wan that were left behind in the younger man. He was the hope of rescuing a few memories of the man she loved.

"You need to talk to him. He's very upset," Dorme said.

Padme sat up. She felt robotic as though her limbs were moving without her control. She was numb, except for the terrible pain in heart. That pain, she was sure, would never leave her and she wanted to keep it, to remember what Obi-wan meant to her.

"Show him in here," Padme said smoothing her hands over her dress and then running her fingers under her eyes to wipe the tears away as best she could. She stood and looked at herself in the small mirror over the sink. There was no hiding she had been crying and her red puffy eyes were a dead giveaway that the crying was violent. She didn't care. Anakin needed to know how she felt about Obi-wan, even if she was sworn to secrecy. It didn't matter now. Obi-wan was gone and they couldn't do anything to punish him for being human.

"In your room?"

"Yes."

Anakin was not unfamiliar to Padme. They knew each other and she was surprised at Dorme's reaction. Although she didn't normally have someone in her bedroom, unless it was Obi-wan, it wasn't off limit to those she considered her friends and not political acquaintances. Right now, she hurt too much to leave the safety of the room she often shared with Obi-wan. She could feel him here, even if he was one with the force now.

Padme felt unsteady and Dorme helped her to the small chair located near the window in her bedroom. Once Padme was sure she was ready, Dorme opened the door and motioned beyond the door for Anakin to enter. The door clicked closed behind the young man and they were alone.

One look at Anakin told Padme he had been crying as well. It was something jedi didn't show to other people. They were supposed to be emotionless and hide their feelings. Anakin was not doing either and it spoke to the pain he was feeling over Obi-wan's loss.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice hoarse as though he had been screaming.

Padme nodded. She didn't trust her voice to speak. Anakin's hand went to his chin and he rubbed it thoughtfully, something Obi-wan often did. Padme closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay, but there was nothing she could do. A sob seized her body and she was once again thrown into the depths of the despair she felt for the loss of Obi-wan.

Anakin's arms were around her in seconds and his sobs filled her ears as they clung together. Padme desperately hung on to the front of his tunic, her fingers wrapping in the fabric as she pulled him closer. It felt good to be held in someone's arms again, even if they weren't Obi-wan's. She needed the comfort. Someone who knew what it felt like to lose the most important person in their world. Anakin knew what it felt like and shared in her misery easily.

As the sobs died away, Padme pulled away from him and wiped her eyes, her eyes focused on her hands in her lap as she pulled at a stray thread poking out from her skirt. Anakin stood and cleared his throat, she could tell he was uncomfortable showing his true emotions to her.

"You can sit on the bed," she offered. Anakin pulled his robe off and tossed it on the end of the bed, like Obi-wan did so many times before, and sat down with a heaviness. She could see the sadness on his face, but there was also a darkness in his eyes. He was Anakin, but he was not the same Anakin.

"Are you okay?" she finally asked and sniffled.

"He was everything to me and I watched as that bastard killed him," Anakin said through gritted teeth. Padme took in a sharp breath, she didn't know Anakin was there when Obi-wan was killed. Somehow it made it personal for Anakin and Padme knew there was no mistake about her love being gone. There was no chance that the body they found was of someone else. It was truly her Obi-wan the jedi laid to rest.

"If it was his time," Padme said softly, "then there was nothing you could do to stop it."

Anakin rose from the bed and knelt in front of Padme, taking her hand between his hands. His eyes searched her face and she felt as though he was reading something there, but she didn't care. Her feelings were easy to see now, even if he didn't want to know about his master and their love affair.

"I promise I will find him and I will kill him," Anakin said vowing to her.

"I love him, Anakin," she said admitting it for the first time to someone who wasn't Obi-wan.

"So do I."


End file.
